Democracy Ain't Cheap

My texts runneth over with political panhandlers. I got all juiced over the Democrats convention and coughed up $50 unsolicited. And that opened the imploring floodgates from

Kamala

Tim

Chuck

James

Nancy

Even Robert DeNiro

Be careful of these salacious solicitors schilling for your sweet spot. Chuck starts out asking for just twenty bucks…then guilts you to committing just twenty bucks just every twenty minutes. But it won’t be enough for

Kamala

Tim

Chuck

James

Nancy

Even the Civil War guy, Ken Burns

I understand Martin Fucking Sheen leaning on me, he’s a former president, but when does it end? I know dead people vote, but what about dead people shaking you down! Anybody else get hit up by James Earl Jones since he died last month? Darth Vader commanded I kick in $15 to destroy the cretin Cruz in Texas.

At least the Dems aren’t trying to sell me sneakers, watches, and bibles. Still, I’m fed up with being strong-armed, harangued, and shamed in the name of truth, justice, and the American way. With that said, If Amelia Earhart surfaces offering a 900% match, I’m in for another $50.

Democracy ain’t cheap.